I am not a doctor. I don’t pretend to give medical advice; and this note is not aimed at anyone who is affected by stress at the level of a medical condition. That still leaves a fairly big audience: Who’d be willing to admit that their job isn’t stressful? Would you? Some people even experience stress outside their working life…
I feel qualified to comment on this topic because I’ve seen, and listened to, a large number of people taking many different approaches to ‘pressure’ and ‘stress’. In parallel, I’ve drawn my own conclusions about how happy and how effective those people and their colleagues have been. And happy and effective usually go together.
What does ‘stress’ mean to you?
Let’s go for a bit of honesty here. Most of us get a rush out of working to a deadline; we can be carried along by the momentum of operating in a hurry, and we can feel a sense of achievement when we’ve got things done in time. And it’s not just about deadlines. We like the idea that we’ve reached or exceeded exacting standards.
So let’s not call everything we do in a hurry ‘stressful’, as if we resent it. And let’s not paint ourselves as victims every time we’re set a task that requires us to achieve a high standard.
The most helpful commentary I’ve read on stress likens it to bending a piece of metal, or stretching a piece of elastic. To an extent, that bending or stretching is fine, but not if it’s too severe or if it goes on too long.
I suggest it’s important that we try to understand ourselves. What kind of metal are we; and what state of health/ mind/ mood are we in just now for bending and coming back into shape? We need to be alert to when there’s some bending or stretching going on, or, better still, we need to develop a sense of when that test is coming around the corner. And then we need to decide what we’re going to do about it.
We need to accept a little responsibility for ourselves.
Who creates your stress?
My experience tells me there are 2 culprits pretty close to home.
The obvious one is the boss, or the company, or the system. That’s the slave-driver above you. You can’t do anything about it because they’re in charge and that’s just the way it is.
I challenge you to question that conclusion. It’s easy and lazy to accept the status quo. If you see your relationship with your manager as a one-way street, you’ve signed up to subservience. Maybe your boss isn’t on a deliberate evil mission to make your life Hell. Maybe they just don’t know what stress they’re creating; and maybe they lack the skills or experience to know what to do in this situation. Perhaps you can say some carefully chosen words to help. One thing’s for sure, telling everyone else you know, apart from your boss, about what stress your boss brings to your life, isn’t the shortest route to improving things.
We’re quick to identify other people who make our lives difficult. But what about looking in the mirror for culprit number Two? Who makes us sit at our screens for quite so many hours in the week? And who’s really responsible for accepting all the tight deadlines? Is it always down to someone else, or, if we’re honest, are we the ones who so often tighten the screw? The chances are you’re not in a role where meek subservience is the only possible way. Much of the time, you yourself are making a choice. But, being human, you’ll want to reserve the right to complain about the choice you’ve made.
My suggestion here is that we open our eyes. Recognise that we’re very often the ones who volunteer those short deadlines. We have a choice: we can be more realistic, brave and honest (with ourselves and with others) about what we can achieve; or, alternatively, we can keep on cranking up the pressure and accept that we know exactly who we should blame for the tense situation we’ve dumped ourselves in. The third way would be to continue as we are, putting ourselves under unrealistic pressure and then blaming the rest of the world when we don’t enjoy it.
If you think I’m saying it’s always your fault, that’s not what I intend. But look out for the choices you’re able to make and be aware of what you’ll be bringing upon yourself by volunteering that too-short deadline.